Why Should You Vote For Charlie?

A Delaware County Everyman (went to private school, grew up rich, never really did anything, but dresses like a teenager from the early 2000s...so it balances) 

Never Own ANYTHING (lives in a 2 million dollar house with mommy and daddy) 

College Graduate (has a bachelor's degree in communication, the participation trophy of the college degree world) 

Never Had a Real Job (when he isnt working as a volunteer middle school wrestling coach, he pretends to work for his daddy) 

Independent Journalist (cosplayed as a journalist despite being barely literate...thanks to AI) 

American Patriot (doesn't really understand government but believes every conspiracy and even makes up his own) 

Campaign Experience (tried to run for county council once already, the campaign lasted a full ten minutes before it failed) 

Tough Guy and a Victim (clearly the toughest guy in Delco, but also a perpetual victim of bullying) 

THIS WEBSITE IS SATIRE AND PARODY.

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No dogs were elected to County Council in the production of this website.